The past year has been filled with the ups and downs of healing, emotionally speaking. I’ve found out that healing isn’t by any means linear, it’s a process. One that must happen, in order to move forward.

What I do know is that as I was riding along on my Unicorn in Training, the other day, with a favorite riding companion, on her own UiT, that I felt lighter that I had in a long time, emotionally. I felt like me again. The me I like and admire. I finally feel like getting the outside of me caught up with the inside of me. I thought I might be done riding, done competing, and it was perhaps time to move onto something more sedate, less stressful in my life, and hobby pursuits. Turns out, I was wrong, and this is something I’m happy to be wrong about. I want to ride every day again. I want to be out there with the sun on my face and the breeze at my back, doing what I’ve loved most, most of my life.

My daughter has been gently encouraging me along in this process since my mom passed last year. As we approach that one year mark, I’m feeling more determined than ever to make my body as strong as my mind again. Because now, I feel like a clock is ticking somewhere, louder than ever.

Jessi’s best words to me tonight, via text were, “Being strong and old is better than being skinny and old”. Truer words, Jess, truer words. She brought our text conversation to a pleasant close with a quote that she once scripted out with a picture she did, and then framed for me, when I graduated college and embarked on my 2nd career, after so many years of just winging it in life.

It’s time to plant that tree. It’s time to just kick myself in the hind end, and make that meeting I scheduled for Monday, to get off that hind end and get strong again. It’s just time. No excuses.

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