Cloaks and Smoke to make a point. Don’t fall for it.

I’ve seen this meme shared on social media from time to time and each time I see it, it really strikes me. I’ve made some pretty hefty mistakes in my life. If it hadn’t been for the very patient people/animals I’ve managed to surround myself with, my life could have taken a drastically different direction. Thank goodness for those who get that we are human, and not all bad.

I’ve also seen this meme circulating. To me, these two memes go hand in hand. My husband and I have very much been the target of someone who wants to recruit all her minions into hating us, because she can’t stand that we understand that sometimes people make mistakes in life, but that doesn’t mean they have to pay for them for the rest of their life.

To get conned into allowing oneself into being recruited into hating someone who has never wronged you is a mistake we’ve all made. Don’t fall for it!

Several years ago, as a more rookie endurance rider than I am now, I rode for a person who bought/sold horses with money from their employer. This person conned their employer big time, and also rode the absolute snot out of the horses in their charge, and encouraged others to ride like that too, even telling one potential buyer they’d sent me out with to ignore what I had to say about the horse they were test riding, because I was notoriously conservative in my riding. The potential buyer consequently got pulled, riding too fast, without enough control over the horse. Sale sunk. I had no respect for this person, and was heard saying something to that effect to someone else, after the horse they’d asked me to ride didn’t pass the vet in exam. I quit riding for them, and they got to feel like they “fired” me off their horses. Ok, no hide off my hiney. Another person I knew, was good friends with this person, and because of that, I had no warm and fuzzy feelings for that person. It was my mom that took me aside, after spending some time with both of them. She told me that I should not judge the friend, because they were a genuinely good person, and tried to stay friends with this person, because this person needed good friends. Mom was right. I made a concerted effort to be kind to the friend, and as a result, we’re friends still today. I was their groom at a Pan Am Ride in the late 90’s. It’s a good think I listened to Mom and let this person’s character speak for itself.

The moral of this story? Let a person’s character speak for itself. Don’t let one hateful person, full of discontent about things they know little about, color your opinion or make conclusions about someone’s reputation, built upon another’s wrong words. I know that for my husband and I, it’s true that we’re open to being approached about questions anyone may have.

We’ve been respected mentors in the sport of endurance riding, for the better part of 30 years, between us. We managed rides for the better part of 20 of those years. We have nearly 30,000 miles between us. We’ve ridden all the distances, all the days, and all the types of ponies (and mules!) to accomplish this. We’ve worked/ridden horses for others. We became SafeSport certified. We have been the single biggest contributors to the local Youth Rider Fund, that enables young people to ride for free in our region.

We were good friends with a Hater, until we just figured out that this person is just counterfeit and had to walk away. There was no big confrontation, no big fight, we just walked away. It’s sad, but true, for us. True to the point that we’ve finally had to consider legal action to make the libel and slander stop. One can only take so much abuse before they stand up and say, STOP. The Hater continues to spew hate, while also wrangling in new minions with their counterfeitness. All things eventually come to light when it comes to folks who are counterfeit, however.

We’re nearer to the end of our endurance careers than the beginning. We’ve had a good run. After the Big Wreck this past summer, we’re closer than ever before. This single event has broken something in my husband that I’m not sure will ever be fixed. He is out riding his young mule though, so I have hope. I’m sure we won’t ever hit the endurance trails like we did before, but we’ll be out riding, out having fun, enjoying one another’s company. Out healing together. No hate, no discontent, no need to bring others down, in order to bolster our own egos. I think we’ve both grown out of that sophomoric behavior, a long time ago. You’ll find us out on the boat, on our kayaks, on good rides on good ponies, on trips that make us smile with the memories. We’ll be out living our best lives, because you only get one shot at this life. Better to find yourself all done, thinking, “dang, I kind of wish I hadn’t done a thing or two, but so happy I did the things I did”, than thinking, “I sure wish I had done some things”.